I read a lot of baby/mommy/pregnancy/TTC blogs. I love reading all the perspectives and ideas that women have as they navigate a very important time in their life, the journey towards becoming a parent and then being a parent. I also read some daddy blogs (which are awesome, wish there were more).
Anyway, one thing that is simply hard to avoid is the fact that women are in competition with each other. We've been pitted against each other ever since birth. This reality comes to a head when it comes to pregnancy, birth and parenting.
When a blogger posts about their desires for a natural birth, other women comment "en force" about how she probably won't get it and won't want it, and will want an epidural, and how the hospital won't agree to this or that, and how the doctors and nurses won't agree, and how they "hope" that if she doesn't get what she wants, that she has the "grace" to accept whatever is safest.
When a blogger posts about how they want a C-section, other women comment "en force" about how its major surgery and how crappy she'll feel and how she shouldn't "want" a C-section, and how she'll miss out on her kid's birth, and how she'll regret it later and on and on.
Why can't women be each other's advocates? Why can't we support each other and help each other? We must we be condescending and know-it-all about other people's decisions about birthing/children? Will their children die or be seriously maimed if they're fed food at 5.5 months, or are fed formula, or are born in a house? No.
Women, seriously, get a grip! You are NOT an expert on pregnancy, birthing, or child-rearing EXCEPT for your own family. When it comes to other people, no, you really don't have it all figured out. Every person is different, responds to different things, wants different things, needs different things. Your way is NOT the only way and you have no right to tell other women what they will respond to, want, and need. You can only speak for yourself with any credibility.
There's nothing wrong with women wanting a hospital birth, or with women who want to formula feed, or who breastfeed in public. What is important is that women be heard about their needs and desires and that we all support them in deciding what is best for themselves and their families.
•taste: macaroni with peas
see: kitty loving on her new hairbrush
hear: Micah's comments about the pro-bowl game
smell: clean laundry
touch: my neck, trying to keep my finger warm
think: people need to not tear other people down
feel: a lil frustrated
via
2 comments:
Well written and thought out; I couldn't agree more.
In a sea of total woman redux you are a breath of fresh air.
brilliant post!!! I have no kids, and not much intention of ever having any, but I absolutely and wholeheartedly agree with you. why do women always fight with each other instead of supporting our right to choose freely. I just wrote a post about skinny vs normal. it's the same thing. women being at each other's throat instead of critically dealing with unquestioned standards in society.
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