Women, mothers, babies...

I read a lot of baby/mommy/pregnancy/TTC blogs.  I love reading all the perspectives and ideas that women have as they navigate a very important time in their life, the journey towards becoming a parent and then being a parent.  I also read some daddy blogs (which are awesome, wish there were more).

Anyway, one thing that is simply hard to avoid is the fact that women are in competition with each other.  We've been pitted against each other ever since birth.  This reality comes to a head when it comes to pregnancy, birth and parenting.

When a blogger posts about their desires for a natural birth, other women comment "en force" about how she probably won't get it and won't want it, and will want an epidural, and how the hospital won't agree to this or that, and how the doctors and nurses won't agree, and how they "hope" that if she doesn't get what she wants, that she has the "grace" to accept whatever is safest.

When a blogger posts about how they want a C-section, other women comment "en force" about how its major surgery and how crappy she'll feel and how she shouldn't "want" a C-section, and how she'll miss out on her kid's birth, and how she'll regret it later and on and on.

Why can't women be each other's advocates?  Why can't we support each other and help each other?  We must we be condescending and know-it-all about other people's decisions about birthing/children?  Will their children die or be seriously maimed if they're fed food at 5.5 months, or are fed formula, or are born in a house?  No.

Women, seriously, get a grip!  You are NOT an expert on pregnancy, birthing, or child-rearing EXCEPT for your own family.  When it comes to other people, no, you really don't have it all figured out.  Every person is different, responds to different things, wants different things, needs different things.  Your way is NOT the only way and you have no right to tell other women what they will respond to, want, and need.  You can only speak for yourself with any credibility.

There's nothing wrong with women wanting a hospital birth, or with women who want to formula feed, or who breastfeed in public.  What is important is that women be heard about their needs and desires and that we all support them in deciding what is best for themselves and their families.

•

read: a hair magazine
taste: macaroni with peas
see:  kitty loving on her new hairbrush
hear: Micah's comments about the pro-bowl game
smell: clean laundry
touch: my neck, trying to keep my finger warm
think: people need to not tear other people down
feel:  a lil frustrated
via

Whistler! (picture heavy)

It's taken me for-eeeeeva to get a post down about Whistler.  Not sure why, I guess I have several pictures and the task seemed more daunting than fun, sooooo.... yeah.

Every year my family goes to Whistler for the week that includes New Years.  This year was one of those wonderful years that I was able to go for the whole time, as it all depends on the dates and when public school starts up again.

It's such a lovely family tradition.  We ALWAYS have some sort of snow, some years better than others.  We have a time share that we stay in and have some sort of collection of relatives or family friends in the time share next door.  We laugh, play games, watch movies, play xbox, shop in town, and ski/snowboard.  We make memories...we celebrate the New Year.

This year, my husband and I were promoted!  The last time we came, we were only engaged, hence we could not share a bed.  (Traditional family for those who do not know my family/background)  Micah slept on the couch and I slept in the spare.  This year, since we were there the entire week, AND are married, got our own bedroom and bathroom.  Yay!  My sister and her husband INSISTED they sleep on the sofa-bed since they were there only 3 days.  They would not take no for an answer, despite the fact that Derek is 6'7".  He sleeps curled up, evidentally. ;)

We had quite a bit of snow this year, but the one day I could afford to go up was too warm and the snow was like trying to snowboard through frosting.  I could not make it all the way down the mountain due to being completely out of shape and that awful snow.  So, I took the Gondola down from halfway.  I still can snowboard despite a lack of practice without looking too idiotic, so that's a plus.

One evening, we went out to the 'ol Irish Pub with my cousins and their significant others.  They had a celtic duo playing, one on the fiddle, the other on the guitar.  Both sang as well.  They played everything from "celtic" Lady Gaga to "the Devil went down to Georgia".  Excellent musicians! :)

We watched the new Tintin movie, which was pretty much epic, at the little Theatre in Whistler Village, bought an ADORABLE dress from Guess (I'll post pics if I ever find an occasion to wear it), and generally just lazed around the rest of the time.

So, here's some pics to prove it all.

Twin Peaks is where we always stay.

This is Blackcomb behind us.

My adorable parents.

Whistler lighted in the evening.

Inside the Irish Pub looking at the musicians.

My cuz Bryan on the left.  (We share a birthday, we're awesome!)  Derek, the awesomely tall bro-in-law talking to Joe across the table and his wife Mel (other cuz).

Alright, from left: Bryan, Casey, Janelle, Derek, Joe, Mel.  Good times, good times. ;)

There were some improvements made for the 2010 Winter Olympics. :)

And my favorite... :)

Here's to Whistler *raises Chai* and to many more years of memories!



•

read: A health magazine from mom.

taste: homemade Chai

see: kitty, sleeping in her box

hear: Micah listening to people play Terraria

smell: Pizza Hut, hubby decided to indulge

touch: warm, fuzzy bathrobe

think: about my causes atm

feel:  a slight tummy ache, who knows why, just a sensitive stomach (I could tell a story about that as kid...because you all would TOTALLY enjoy that)

via

Snow, snow SNOW!!!

Well then Seattle,

We are about to get at least a half-foot of snow tomorrow.  As long as we can find tire chains, furball remedy (kitty needs it), and groceries, BRING IT ON!!!

I love snow!  And we haven't had this much since I was a kid.  We came close I think a couple years ago, it was 4-5 inches I believe.  But this will be interesting.  If there's enough, I'm going out to build a snowman on the apartment patio...

I've already resigned myself to the fact that my students will just have to cram last minute before their semester final.  There's no way I can give them any extra review days now, what with school being closed even today (and there's literally no snow on the roads).  I just hope I get one day in on Friday so I can give them all the stuff they need to do over the weekend.

But that's the only real bummer.  Here's some photos from other talented photographers to get us Pacific Northwesterners in the mood.

global-greenhouse-warming.com

To pay homage to my 2nd country:  :)

parisdailyphoto.com

Seattle with snow!

blogs.seattleweekly.com

Yesterday in Seattle:

Yeah, we actually thought that this would be the "big" storm....

lindsayfincher.com

Yesterday in Seattle area:

copystrands.com

•

read: nothing much today or yesterday, just the internetz.
taste: nothing yet, probably will eat cereal.
see: snow currently melting...we'll see about later
hear: kitty's incessant meowing has finally stopped!
smell: hmmm, fresh laundry.
touch: my hair, I constantly play with my hair.
think: Soon I will be a sub, who has to somehow finagle enough jobs per month to pay the bills, ack!
feel: Anxious, excited for snow, hopes that Micah's car doesn't give him troubles...
via 

Organic Baby Blanket!

I'm participating in an organic baby blanket giveaway.  You should too!  It's huge and completely natural and safe, especially for babies.  I'm not sure yet if I'll keep it for my future babies or give it away to someone special who already has one, we'll see. :)

The link to the blog post and giveaway:  http://prebabyblog.com/2012/01/safety-in-organic/

•

read: taste: see: hear: smell: touch: think: feel: via

Hellooooo again!

Oh goodness, I have so many things to blog about and just haven't had the motivation.   Blogging is so fun for me, and exciting, and I love over-sharing on the internetz and all that, but for some reason, just getting started on a blog can be difficult to do.  I kind of wing them each time too, which may be why.  I know many successful bloggers out there type out what they're going to say ahead of time and post at just the right moment.  Mmmmm, nope.  Don't think I'll do that.  But it's a great idea.  Nope, pretty much not going to do that.

Anyway, its SNOWING! Last year we had a nice lil snowfall right before Thanksgiving break I believe.  This time its January!  I have pics and a video (go me!).

FYI, it's snowing even harder now, so if it accumulates, I'll take another video I think.

Isn't it amazing how quiet snow makes everything, even in the city.  And, just how beautiful and sublime even a pile of trash becomes with a bit of snow on it.  :P  Oh, the joys of temporary clean and fresh...

•

read: Dead Witch Walking  suggested by a high school friend.  We'll see how it goes, just started.
taste: Morning breath.  I know, ewwwww.
see: Beautiful snow out my windows!
hear: very little, but the buzz of computers and the sound of typing.
smell: just a tiny hint of the peach candle on my desk.  I should light it...
touch: My warm fuzzy bathrobe.
think: hoping that my husband doesn't have trouble coming home.
feel:   excited and yet anxious
via

My causes

I read this interesting article the other day found here.  It basically is a researcher highlighting male gender socialization.  When people are asked about the attributes of "real men", here's the box of typical results that ensues.  (WARNING, some of the information below near the bottom of the box is sexually explicit, so skip past it.)

Tall	Strong	Muscular
25-45 years old	Able-bodied	Heterosexual
Cisgender	Competitive	Dominant
Cop	Firefighter	Mechanic
Lawyer	Business Man	CEO
Caretaker	Competent	Leader
Drinks	Watches & plays sports	Play poker with his buddies
Doesn’t show emotions other than anger, excitement	Stoic	Violent
Always wants sex	Has lots of sexual partners	Sex is about scoring
Has a big penis	Gets hard when he wants	Stays hard
Gives his partner an orgasm (or multiple orgasms)	Ejaculates when he wants to	Sex is focused on intercourse, blow jobs (receiving), possible anal (giving)

Wheeee
eeee
eee
eee
ee
e
e
e
e

OK, ITS SAFE NOW.  (Though it's really not the bad, I promise.)

Anyone, basically, US society teaches or socializes men to believe that they must perform in certain ways (ways included in the box to be real men).  While many of the items are not really necessarily bad, many are downright troubling and some are so specific, they aren't really attainable by the average man anyway.  I will concede that a few are good attributes, but some men simple aren't born leaders or whatever. What especially troubles me is that a "real man" is violent, only shows the emotions anger/excitement, and is stoic.  Basically, "real men" are ticking bombs with big muscles that lack any sort of empathy, not to mention an unreasonable and unhealthy view of sex. 

Is it any wonder domestic violence is so prevalent?

Just a couple days after reading this article, I finally looked up the details about a colleagues death over the holidays.  At WHS, a fellow teacher died and I received an email without any details that she has passed away on Christmas Day.  Very very sad.  Then,  I found out that she had been killed.  Her ex had seen another man's car in her driveway and had confronted her outside her house.  They had "words" and then he punched her in the head.  He's a bodybuilder and therefore he fractured her skull and she died the next day from serious head trauma.  He drove off before ascertaining her condition.  Now, I don't think he actually intended to hit her to kill.  But, it could very well be that his go-to emotion (or only) was anger and "real men" respond with violence right?  He's being tried with 2nd degree murder.

This inspiring and spunky teacher had no reason to die.  And I can't help but wonder if society didn't try and squash all men into the "box" if things would've turned out differently for Prudence.  Perhaps, perhaps not, but I hope that we are not all naive enough to think that the "box" doesn't have a pretty big influence on the number of domestic violence incidents.

Anyway, this all segways into my causes.  I am a feminist.  I believe in equal rights for women.  One of the reasons I believe in fighting for true equality is because if women are treated as equals, we can allow men to be themselves as well.  They will no longer have to strive to fit into a box in order to not be teased or abused themselves.  The traditional distinctions between men and women would diminish, making it so more women can be CEOs and leaders if they choose and more men to be sincere about their emotions and needs as human beings. I also believe that if equality of the sexes is achieved, this will also greatly reduce the abuse of other groups of society, especially children, some of the most vulnerable and exploited human beings on the planet.  Also, all those who are different from the norm with be treated with dignity and respect, such as LGBTIQ people, and intersex people, and disabled people, and people of ethnic minorities.  I do my best to promote all of these causes, not just feminism, but I recognize that oppression of any form intersects with all other types of oppression.  Ending one greatly increases the chances of ending the others.

I am feminist.  I am against all forms of oppression.   I believe as I believe for people like Prudence.

•

read: This Common Secret My journey as an abortion doctor by Susan Wicklund.
taste: A hot buttered drink ;)
see: A clean apartment, thx love. :D
hear: Micah's character conversations on SWTOR (computer game).
smell: pumpkin spice candle
touch: Micah's hugs after a long trying day dealing with our loss at WHS.
think: All the people out there being oppressed for things they cannot change.
feel: Better, now that I've spilled some of my guts.
via