I didn't change my name . . .

and I don't plan to either.

The hubs and I discussed it rather heatedly (on my part mostly) several times before we married, but I was adamant that I would not legally change my name to his last name.

It's a perfectly good name. Very sophisticated sounding, went well enough with my name, but it's simply not MY name and I was not willing to give up MY name entirely and take another, without a reason that suited me. I'm quite attached to my last name and it sounds better with my first name.  I also feel that one's last name in no way indicates the level of commitment or love between two people and saw such a tradition as impractical and largely without real purpose, besides convenience for others.

If you know me, when it comes to issues I'm impassioned about, I simply don't kowtow to others' convenience when it's a matter of personal principle.

A woman changing one's last name came out of a long tradition of women being considered the possession of men, first of her father, then later of her husband when she married. Women used to not be able to keep their own property, or their own money once married because of this mentality. Slowly things have changed until now when women have full monetary and property rights etc, but there are still a few small prevailing traditions that reflect back to this previous time, such as a bride pledging obedience to her husband during vows (which a husband does not need to pledge back), or having the father only give a bride away. The bride giving up her last name is just one more small thing that comes out of our traditional dealings between men and women.  Since I could come up with no other reason to change my name besides this "tradition" (such as liking the new name better, or it sounding better, or just not liking one's original last name), I decided it was not for me.

There's nothing wrong with changing one's name, or having one's father give one away. It's all a matter of personal preference and neither way is right or wrong. It was wrong for me because in my mind, I simply cannot separate this tradition from it's patriachal roots and purpose.  Some traditions can be very symbolic and meaningful though and I suggested to the hubs that we both change our name to a combined new name or a hyphenated last name. The symbolism would be a true combining of two equals, but the hubs did not want to give up his name and I fully understood (after all, I like my last name too :P). But, the hubs had to realize that it was not any more fair or just of him to ask me to change my name either. Hence, we are on equal footing, even down to our last names. ; )

Anyway, I did make a compromise, more out of the convenience of friends/family. I have nothing against my husband's last name, so anyone who knows it is free to call me by it, friends, family, etc. Informally, I'll be Mrs. W________. But, I wanted to keep at least one area of my life with my given name, which is very special to me, so in the legal realm and at work, I'm Jillian L______ or as my students say Madame L_______.

The hubs has had a lil bit of an interesting time with it and protests when I don't use W_______ in the informal settings as I'd promised I would but I personally think he's wasting his time and energy for more important issues, like spoiling and loving me. ; ) It kind of tickles me a little all the same . . .

In closing I will only say one thing. I DO NOT answer to the name and DO NOT like to be addressed as Mrs. Micah W________. This ridiculous tradition should simply be put down and killed like it deserves. I refuse to address any other woman in such a manner as well. No woman should ever be called the feminine version of her husband without even her own first name. It downright nonsensical as well in this day and age.

Anyway, enough rants. Coming up:  introduction to my canine "nieces" effie and minnie and several posts about my wedding because I've received my professional wedding pics. Brings back such lovely memories . . . : )